There's nothing more that I hate, than being at the mercy of somebody who is just collecting a paycheck.
So, in short. Fidge is failing math. And it's not a ...she doesn't do the work, could care less...kind of failing. She has a processing and development deficit in addition to severe ADHD of the hyperactive sort. If you're up and up on ADHD, you know about the difference. Anyhoo. Her deficit has haunted us literally from 6 minutes post birth, until about 5 years old. Then Kindergarten hit, and Kinder is fun and games. So we buried the deficit and thought she had overcome!
And then first grade came. And her teacher, realized, without knowing the full extent of her health and development history, that she had some learning struggles. Her teacher is a wonderful teacher. An advocate for her students. A teacher who gave up social work about ten years ago to become a teacher because it was her dream. Yes, one of those rare teachers who are still in the field, before the current system burns them out and sends them running.
Anyhow, once her teacher approached us about her concerns, I filled her in on Fidge's health and development history and she proceeded to order evals for her. In short, Fidge has some learning challenges. She was given a 505 in early 2013. Her 504 addresses accommodations such as small group testing, and several math accommodations. Fast forward to the same time 2014, and Fidge's deficit is growing. And now it's affecting her confidence and well being.
Her teacher told me of her game plan...take this to the school's designated RTI team and discuss options for Fidge. So she did. It was presented and poo-poo'd. I won't go into great detail about the people on the RTI team, but in short, the lead is a person who should not be leading anything at a school..unless it's the line to the nearest Circle K, and the second is just as bad. They work other avenues of the school, but neither maintain a class with children. They're two people I haven't been able to tolerate since H was in the first grade, due to how they treated her, and witnessed by another teacher, and brought to my attention.
Anyhow...I'm circular talking again, when in fact I was supposed to keep this short.
Fidge's teacher presented her case, asking what the school can do to help her. She's had all the evals done last year, and with all of her accommodations in place, she's still not doing well. Welp. They veto'd any further assistance and said that it's something that can be looked at once she's in the third grade. AAAAAHHHH. I'm so upset. SO UPSET. Are you kidding me? So...I wrote a letter to the school services coordinator. She and I have a good rapport, considering all we do for H. Let's see how she responds. Because next up...I'ma go batshit crazy is they don't help my kid!!!
" As I believe you're aware, Fidge is seriously struggling in math this year. If she were given a letter grade, she would currently be failing. She is on a 504 plan that was put into place in early 2013. Ms. Wonderteacher has been her teacher for both school years and is continually working really, really hard with Fidge on trying to overcome her deficit. Which, unfortunately, is continuing to grow, despite all the efforts of the mild accommodations she has, the extra outsourced tutoring we're getting for her weekly, and the continuous practice we maintain with her at home.
This morning, Ms. Wonderteacher gave me an update on where the school is at with Fidge, regarding this. As you can imagine, I'm extremely disappointed and frustrated that it was decided to let the rest of the school year go by, before assessing what further assistance she may need in the 3rd grade.
If only those who made this decision can see what Ms. Wonderteacher and Ms. Allthedadsthinksheshot see in her during math. Fidge is not a student who doesn't try, she has an amazing spirit and a thirst for learning. However, math has put a really dark cloud over her, so much so that we've all seen a complete slide in her confidence. She feels like a failure and often cries over her frustration for not being able to understand math. Her teacher has tried every avenue she could, before coming to the conclusion that Fidge needs further reinforcement. We feel that Ms. Wonderteacher has taken the proper channels and been in wonderful communication with us every step of the way, in regards to Fidge's math challenges. She's been advocating for our daughter, and unfortunately, to me, it feels like we've all hit a brick wall.
Her teachers see her deficit. We see her deficit. Her tutor sees her deficit. I'm quite confused how it can be decided by those who have no firsthand experience with her in math, that she cannot have extra help until being re-evaluated in the third grade.
There is a lot of time that passes between mid first grade and early third grade; and as you know, what is learned in math from mid first to early third is worlds apart. We're so fearful that Fidge is going to continue on in math without making progress, which is a proven fact looking at her scores, and that this deficit is going to be too great for her to overcome.
Please don't let AcmeSchool fail her. Please tell me what AcmeSchool can do to support her with supplemental help at the school. At AcmeSchool "each child is.....capable of success". Please don't MAKE her fall through the cracks.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, Woman. Please let me know what we can do to move forward in a positive direction with Fidge."
Wish us luck.Take note, I'll be asking for luck often. Quite often.
UPDATE:
About thirty minutes later, I was in the office signing Fidge out for a doctor appointment, when the Principal heard my voice in the lobby and called me into her office. She proceed to try and tell me about this new "fabulous" group that they started at the school, etc, etc., when I cut her off to tell her I was well aware of it. She then told me that we're the "guinea pigs" trying out this new format, and asked me if I'd read the letter she had comprised and give her feedback on it. Is it too wordy? Too much "educator's jargin and not enough facts and simplicities", etc. Ugggghhh....she caught me at the wrong moment. I proceeded to tell her I'm sickened by the idea that my child is the guinea pig for this program. That I know everything needs a starting point, but I'm so NOT in support of their findings, that this new group is an absolute crock. She looked at me a bit dumbfounded. You see, I may be one of very few parents who's ever taken a cross tone or issue, with this Principal. I've supported her in a lot of ways, and have noticed that I'm a parent she calls upon for feedback often. Once I saw her expression, I realized that I just went off on my kid's principal. Eeks! I stopped myself and told her I have already reached out to "Woman" to see what can be done, but if I didn't think it was acceptable, that I would be calling upon her for help and support, and we parted ways.
So. Allll the way to the doctor's office, I fretted about my behavior. So much so that I sent her an email:
" Yo Principal,
I'm so sorry for my response this morning. I've obviously got some frustration, but have taken the proper avenue to seek answers. I did not mean to unload on you. I know you didn't seek me out this morning, with expectations I'd respond that way. My sincerest apologies.
-Advomama"
To which she replied:
I have known you long enough and adore you too much for you to worry about such things… We are a TEAM-and as teammates-it’s important for us to communicate our frustrations when we have them. I am hopeful that "Woman" and the team can help and support you through your concerns.
Yo Principal xx"
Wise Advise by Advomommy: The principal is always a good one to have on your side. Whether you like the principal or not. So burning a bridge with her is not a smart one.
Another UPDATE. They just keep coming!:
Woman called me and let me know that she's in touch with district psych(o)<---she's not my favorite 20-something year old---> and they're going to pull Fidge's charts and come up with a plan for her. She's not sure what type of plan yet, as they need to hash some things out. But to expect a call from her by 5:00pm tomorrow evening.
This is what being an advocate mom (advomommy) is all about. The job never ends. It's ever revolving and constantly changing. And sadly, in my years of maternal advocacy, I've often noticed it takes a couple steps backward for every half step forward. But the bottom line is that; More Wise Advise by Advomommy: Nobody is ever going to take your child's well being and best interest at heart the way a parent will. Take heed that NO, NEVER MEANS NO. It simply (or complicatedly) means take a few steps sideways, get into position and resist as hard as you can. Eventually what you are resisting against will weaken, and finally falter, and you will have succeeded. Hence my motto, 'Celebrate the small victories". And by goodness, we do.
Wish me luck for tomorrow. Fingers crossed. (Told you I'll be asking for luck often.)
No comments:
Post a Comment